Emptiness

Soledad

I don't know how common this is, but for me, the main problem is that I feel disconnected from everyone and everything.

[No sé que tan común esto sea, pero para mí, el principal problema es que me siento desconectado de todo y de todos.]

I have a few people out there who I care about, or who care about me, but no real intimacy with anyone. Worse yet, this is a long term pattern with me, it's been going on for enough years yet that it's quite possible I will be alone for the rest of my life.

[Apenas tengo gente ayá afuera a quien cuido y quien cuida de mí, pero ninguna intimidad real con nadie. Aun peor, esto parece ser un patrón de larga estancia, me ha seguido por años y que me hace pensar que muy posiblemente siga solo por el resto de mi vida.]

This totally sucks.

[Esto es completamente despreciable.]

I would like to have friends I could be truly close to, someone that I could be in love with, but I'm psychologically fucked up enough that I don't know how to make this happen.

[Me gustaría tener amistades a las que estuviera realmente apegado, quiciera tener a alguien de quien estar enamorado, pero me encuentro tan psicologicamente atrofiado/desmadrado que no puedo encontrar la manera de hacer que esto suceda.]

I like to think that if I had love and intimacy in my life, life wouldn't suck nearly as much.
[Me gusta pensar que si tuviera amor e intimidad en mi vida, la vida no seria el asco que es.]

And hell, I think I've reached the point where I'm jealous of cult members. Those poor deluded fuckers who shave their heads and dance around in public begging for donations, or the heaven's gate suicide cult, at least they have a sense of purpose, of belonging. They must have a sense of devotion for their beloved cult leaders.

[Maldición! Creo que he alcanzado un punto donde siento recelo por aquellos que pertenecen a un culto.]

Is there any way to have meaning in your life when you're disconnected from everyone? I don't think so.

[existe alguna maneran de encontrarle sentido a la vida cuando estás desconectado de todo? Yo no lo creo.]